Simple ways to manage stress

The most suitable stress management method for ordinary people is never any high-level skills such as mindfulness meditation and time management. It is "no need to carry it hard or forcefully resolve it. First break the big pressure that makes you breathless into small particles that can be touched by raising your hand, and then deal with it at your own pace."

Last week, I was working on Internet operations. During that time, she was rushing to plan the 618 big promotion. She had to pick up her children from kindergarten and check up on her hospitalized mother every three to five. She posted on WeChat at 3 a.m. that she felt like she had a mountaineering bag full of rocks on her back, making it difficult to stand. To be honest, I have been through a lot of pitfalls before. I have tried various methods on the Internet: the mindfulness school says to fully accept and not fight. The first time I sat there meditating for ten minutes, my mind was filled with the reports due next week. Opening my eyes only made me more anxious; taking action Pai said making a list and ticking them according to priority. I once wrote three pages full of to-dos, and after crossing out two, I was so tired that I wanted to throw away my pen. Others said that I should lie down for three days without doing anything. I tried it once. When I lay down, my mind was full of unfinished things, and I couldn't even scroll through my mobile phone. Finally, The deadlines were piled up and I almost died suddenly.

Later, I asked her not to do any four-quadrant sorting, or even to write a complete to-do list. Instead, just take a note and write down whatever trivial thing comes to mind, even if it is something that has nothing to do with work, such as "buy a strawberry lollipop for the baby". After writing, close your eyes and pick the one that requires the least mental effort to do first, and cross it out after you finish it. That day, she first chose to "send a message to the community hospital to ask if she could make an appointment for a follow-up examination next week on Friday." It took her two minutes to go downstairs and buy a carton of milk to send home. It took ten minutes to complete. That night, she told me that the pile of things that had seemed so airtight that she couldn't stand up suddenly suddenly cracked, allowing some air to breathe.

Some people have argued with me before, saying that this is not about avoiding the important and taking the easy. Aren’t the important things left unfinished? I specifically asked my senior who has been in the clinical psychology department of a tertiary hospital for seven years. He said that when many people are overloaded with stress and have physiological reactions (such as palpitations, insomnia, and forgetting things when turning around), the prefrontal cortex of the brain is already in a state of inhibition and cannot handle complex tasks that require high concentration. At this time, if you force yourself to chew hard bones, you will only become more frustrated and deepen the feeling of "I can't do it." Doing small things first is essentially a "warm-up" for your brain, and you can regain the lost sense of control little by little. When your mood stabilizes, you can then deal with difficult things, which will be much more efficient. I used to have a colleague who was a typical "hard-core person". Every time he was under great pressure, he would tackle the most difficult core tasks first. Last time, he stayed up for two long nights to change the plan, and ended up in the hospital with a gastric perforation. The plan had not been changed to the boss's satisfaction, so the gain outweighed the loss.

I usually have a wild streak. If I really don’t have the energy to write a note, I’ll go to the kitchen and wash two dishes, or take apart the express boxes piled in the hallway and throw them away. I’ll just do it for five minutes. It doesn’t matter if I can’t finish it. The last time I revised the project plan to version 7, I was still rejected by the client. I sat in front of the computer and stared at the screen and shed tears. I stood up and washed the three bowls piled in the sink. I washed my hands with hot water. The orange smell of the dishwashing liquid filled the kitchen. As I was washing, I suddenly felt, oh, I can still wash the dishes cleanly. It’s not like I can’t do everything right, right? After washing the dishes that day, I went back and in fifteen minutes I smoothed out the core points that the client wanted to change.

Of course, this does not mean that this method is omnipotent. I also have friends who don’t like this method. When the little sister who works as an illustrator is under great pressure, she will not want to move the notes no matter how broken they are. She will take a mat and go to the park to squat for half an hour, watching an old man fly a kite and watching children chasing after each other. She will feel better when she comes back. There is also a neighbor who is a programmer. When she is very stressed, she will run three kilometers downstairs. After running, she is sweating all over and comes back to take a shower, and all the depression is gone. There is really no need to benchmark against any "standard answers". The online talk about stress management is too confusing now. You need to learn mindfulness, do the four quadrants of time management, and keep an emotional diary. How can ordinary people have so much energy to do these?

To put it bluntly, is there any threshold for stress management? You don’t have to force yourself to be “completely stress-free”, and you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to sign up for a stress-relief class. If you are really out of breath today, just stand up and get a hot cup, stand by the window to blow the wind for thirty seconds, and count three passing white cars. These are all useful methods. Whatever gives you an extra breath is the best method for you.