Popular science on mental health in the workplace

There is no unified "health template". The essence is that you can find a dynamic balance between work requirements and your own needs - you will neither be drained of all your self-worth by work, nor fall into continuous internal friction due to excessive avoidance. All feelings that make you feel "wrong" are worthy of attention, rather than being classified as "hypocritical" or "poor ability to withstand stress".

Last year, when I was doing EAP service docking for an Internet company, I met Xiaoxia, who was born in 1995 and worked in operations. She ranked among the top three in her department's KPI for three consecutive months and was described by her leaders as a "backbone". However, she had to cry in the parking lot for 20 minutes every day for three weeks in a row before she dared to drive home. She also specifically signed up for a psychiatric appointment, saying she suspected that she had "psychological problems and was not qualified to do this job."

This matter sparked a discussion in our work group at the time, and the two sides’ views were particularly typical: On one side was the voice from corporate HR, who believed that people in the workplace must have professional qualities, separate public and private matters, and not bring personal emotions to work. To put it bluntly, the ability to withstand stress needs to be improved.； On the other side are the opinions of several psychological counselors I spoke with, saying that a person's emotional energy is like a mobile phone battery. The emotional output of coping with KPIs, connecting with cross-departments, and responding to leaders every day at work consumes electricity. If you insist on "emotional stability" and don't let yourself cry, you are essentially overdrafting your health limit, which will collapse sooner or later.

In fact, both of these statements are valid. The core of the problem is never "should you have emotions", but whether you can perceive your own emotional threshold. A few years ago, I met a 37-year-old middle-level man named Zhou of a state-owned enterprise. He had been in management for more than ten years and had never blushed in front of his colleagues. Even his subordinates thought he was a "good leader with no negative emotions." Last year, he was suddenly diagnosed with high blood pressure and mild anxiety during a physical examination. He himself was confused and said, "I usually don't feel unhappy, so why am I anxious?" - Later, during consultation, I discovered that he had been suffering from migraine headaches as soon as he entered the office building two years earlier.

To be honest, many people have a very low awareness of mental health in the workplace. They always think that "I am healthy if I am not depressed or collapsed." This is really not the case. We have done so many cases, and we have summarized the two most intuitive judgment criteria, which are much more useful than those messy tests you do online: One is whether there are physiological linkage reactions, such as inexplicable stomachaches and migraines when you think about going to work, your heartbeat suddenly speeds up when you wake up on Monday morning, and your palms sweat even when you hear the message notification sound of the work group. These are not because you are "lazy", but because your psychological stress has been transmitted to your body. ； The other is whether there is any impairment in social functions. For example, a plan that could be written in half an hour before can now be written in 3 hours without being able to write it. It used to be easy to joke with colleagues, but now even replying to work messages feels tired. Don’t be too busy scolding yourself for your reduced ability. Most likely, your psychological energy has bottomed out.

As for the adjustment methods, the two mainstream ideas in the industry now have their own applicable scenarios, and no one is right or wrong. One is the idea of ​​cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that everyone has heard a lot. The core is "separation of tasks." To put it bluntly, whoever is responsible should bear the blame. Don't take the blame for the boss's blame. Don't take the initiative to take over the emotional garbage of your colleagues. After work, keep the work behind the company door. This method is especially useful for positions with strong autonomy, such as programmers and designers. If the boundaries are clearly drawn, half of the internal friction can be reduced. But there are also many people who say this method is useless. For example, if you work in customer service or offline sales, and your customers point their noses and scold you, you can’t just say, “This is your topic and it has nothing to do with me,” right? At this time, the idea of ​​​​Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is more suitable. You don't have to force yourself to "think about it", and you don't have to force yourself to stabilize your mood immediately. You can allow yourself to be unhappy, or even curse secretly in your mind, and then focus on "What can I do now to make myself feel better?"

When I was rushing to launch a project for a week, I carried a sugar orange in my pocket every day. If I couldn't bear it anymore, I would hide in the fire escape and peel the orange. I would smell the fragrance of the orange peel for two minutes without thinking about anything, and I would be able to recover in two minutes. It is much more useful than drinking three cups of coffee. You can also find your own "orange". It may be a piece of chocolate hidden at your workstation, or it may be time to smoke a cigarette downstairs. Even if you touch fish for 5 minutes and watch cat videos, it is a reasonable way to charge. Don't think it is "shameful to touch fish." You are protecting your own psychology, which is the same as clearing the cache of your computer.

To be honest, after so many years of working in related services, the most annoying sentence I hear is "This is how people in the workplace should be." Some people think that 996 is as satisfying as just having an annual salary of one million. Some people would rather earn 2,000 less per month to pick up their children from get off work on time. Some people feel comfortable if they are wronged and just retaliate on the spot. Some people just don't want to quarrel with others and it's better to stay away. There is no unified "health standard" at all. You don't need to rely on the "excellent professional person template" on the Internet, and you don't need to listen to what others say about "what's so pretentious about this little thing?", your feelings are the most important. If you really can't get over it, don't push it. Most formal companies now provide free EAP psychological counseling services. Even if they don't, it's not shameful to find a reliable counselor to talk to. After all, work is for a good life, and you can't destroy yourself just to work, right?