What are the methods of self-healing?

There has never been a universal standard answer to self-healing. Currently, the effective paths that have been proven by clinical psychology research and public practice are essentially carriers that help you catch the surging emotions without having to carry them. The methods of adapting to different groups of people and different emotional states vary greatly, and even many of the popular methods are themselves controversial.

For example, mindfulness meditation has become very popular in the past two years. There is indeed a large amount of clinical data proving that long-term practice can regulate emotional stability. However, many people have reported that they have been sitting for 10 minutes following the audio, and their minds are full of unfinished reports and unanswered messages. The more they force themselves to focus, the more irritable they become. Related research in the academic world has long pointed out that mindfulness is not suitable for people who are in acute anxiety attacks. Forcible practice will amplify your perception of negative emotions, which is equivalent to opening a wound and not letting you cover it.

I have met a young girl who works in Internet operations before. After being optimized, she stayed at home for three months. At first, she forced herself to write an emotional diary, attend healing classes, and run five kilometers every day. She regarded "get well soon" as a more stringent task than the previous KPI. On the contrary, the more she did, the more she collapsed, and she felt that she could not even do "healing" well. Later, she accidentally picked up a stray cat that was just one month old downstairs. She fed the cat, combed it, and wiped the cat's eyes at regular times every day. In her free time, she sat on the carpet and watched the cat parkour and played with cat sticks. She did not deliberately do anything to "heal", but gradually became willing to go out to meet friends for dinner and submit her resume. She later told me that she always felt that she had to do something "meaningful" to be healed. As a result, she put extra pressure on herself. Instead, she didn't have to think about anything when shoveling the cat's poop. She just stared at the shape of the cat litter in a daze, and her whole body relaxed instantly.

Don't tell me, many people have similar misunderstandings about self-healing, thinking that it must be a serious "healing project" to count. In fact, this is not the case at all. As long as it is a small thing that can help you escape from the vortex of emotional internal friction and gain a sense of stability for even 5 minutes, it is an effective healing method that is unique to you. I know a boy who works in back-end development. Every time he has an online accident and stays up all night, he will go home, dismantle the mechanical keyboard, wipe it clean one by one, and then put it back again. He clicks it for half an hour to test the feel, and his anxiety is gone. ； Another friend is a stay-at-home mother. What she looks forward to most every day is the one hour of her child’s nap. She hides in the bathroom and puts on colorful nail polish. She doesn’t care whether her husband wants to have dinner or whether her mother-in-law will think she is spending too much money. Those 10 minutes of quiet time that only belong to her are much more effective than spending thousands of dollars on emotional massage. In fact, behind this is what is often called embodied cognition in psychology. You don't have to force yourself to "think things over" first. Instead, let your body move first and do small things that don't require a lot of brain power and have no purpose. Then your emotions will naturally relax.

Of course, there are also many methods that have never stopped being controversial. For example, "healing must first be attributed inwardly", which has been very controversial on the Internet. Those who support it believe that when encountering problems, reflecting on your own shortcomings can avoid falling into a victim mentality and quickly detach from negative events and adjust your state.； But there are also many voices of opposition. Many people who are already trapped in self-denial are already blaming themselves for being useless. If they are asked to "look inward for the reasons", they will fall into deeper self-criticism. The original wounds are not healed, but new injuries are added.

In fact, you really don’t have to worry about which is the “correct” method of healing. Just like if you have a flat tire, you don’t have to worry about whether to use an electric air pump or a foot. Even if you are willing to go down and push for a while to relax, as long as it makes you feel more comfortable and can continue walking, that is a good method. I have seen a decoration master before. Every time he got angry after an argument with the owner, he would ride an electric car to the riverside and throw stones for ten or twenty yuan. All the anger would sink into the river with a "dong" sound of the stones. It was more effective than complaining to a friend for three hours.