Emotion management workshops

The Emotion Management Workshop is not a magic medicine that can cure all emotional internal friction, nor is it an IQ tax that harvests anxiety. It is essentially a set of training scenarios that convert "emotional principles" into actionable actions. For people who are stuck in "the principles are understood but the emotions cannot be controlled", it is 3 to 5 times more efficient than watching short videos for half a year. However, for people who firmly believe that "emotions are a manifestation of weakness and must be completely suppressed", it is a complete waste of time.

Last month, I helped a friend's Internet company conduct two internal workshops. The operations girl sitting in the front row was still replying to user messages 10 minutes before the show started, her eyes as red as rabbits. During the ice-breaking session, everyone was asked to talk about their most disturbing emotions recently. She burst into tears as soon as she opened her mouth. She said that she had read no less than 20 articles about "people with high emotional intelligence have long given up their emotions". After being scolded by a user last week, she hid in the stairwell and cried for an hour. She even had a fight with her boyfriend when she got home, feeling that she was extremely useless. Don't tell me, 80% of the people who come to the workshop come with the idea of ​​"I want to get rid of my emotional problems", and they just fall into the design logic of different types of workshops on the market.

Workshops that follow the CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) route are the most popular among Internet companies. They focus on "efficient problem solving". When you come up, you will be given a three-column list: events, automatic thoughts, and emotions, and fill in your recent collapse. I once saw a boy who was working on the backend fill in the form "There was a bug when the project was launched. I felt that my ability was too poor and I felt guilty for three days." The teacher led everyone to break down the chain of responsibilities. Finally, it was revealed that the bug was due to missing verification scenarios in the testing process, and he only held 30% of the responsibility. At that time, the boy leaned on the back of his chair and let out a long sigh, saying that his chest, which had been blocked for three days, suddenly cleared. However, there are many people who oppose this approach. Teachers who practice mindfulness therapy always complain that CBT is "using reason to suppress emotions." If you correct your thoughts and the emotions are blocked in the body, you will still explode next time you encounter something.

The atmosphere of workshops that take the mindfulness route is much softer. I have participated in a workshop where the lights were turned off before. The teacher led everyone to do a 40-minute body scan. A girl working in the market burst into tears during the scan. She said that when she scanned her throat, she discovered that there were many unspoken grievances stuck there. Last month, she was rejected for a salary increase by her boss. She did not dare to argue for fear of appearing utilitarian. She held it in for almost two months and never realized that her throat was always tight when she spoke. Of course, there are many people who criticize this practice. A male sales student complained after finishing the class, "My legs are numb from sitting. I should worry about customers getting their money back. It's useless at all."

I have been a workshop teaching assistant for almost three years. To be honest, I really don’t have to worry about which school is more advanced. When choosing, I just look at one point: whether there are small movements that can be practiced on the spot, rather than just the teacher teaching theory. I was particularly impressed by a technical man who used to throw his keyboard whenever he had an argument about a product. He felt that mindfulness body scanning was too time-consuming. Instead, he preferred to use the three-column table of CBT, plus the grounding skills taught in the workshop - always carry a small ice pack in his pocket, and hold it for 30 seconds when he gets emotional. He uses touch to pull himself out of the whirlpool of anger. Now he has not dropped anything in almost half a year.

Of course, there are many people who say that this thing is an IQ tax. I have seen executives who asked for their money back after a class, saying, "I didn't pay 2,000 yuan to listen to you talk about your childhood experiences. What I want is a way to stabilize myself immediately when I am nervous about reporting to the board of directors next time."”； There are also students who have just entered the second year of college and said that it is useless after taking the class. They should be worried about their grades or grades. In fact, to put it bluntly, it's not that the workshop is useless, it's that the expectations are wrong - this thing is like a fitness personal training class. Do you want to develop your vest line in the last class? It's impossible. The little methods learned in class have to be used repeatedly when the mood rises. You can't expect to practice for 2 hours in class to keep your mood at bay for half a year.

When I was sorting out the student feedback book last week, I saw a girl wrote a crooked line: "I used to think that emotional management would make me never cry again, but now I know that after crying, I can order myself a cup of taro paste Bobo milk tea, and then change the plan so that I don't have to starve until midnight." ”You see, there is no big reason. The most practical meaning of this kind of workshop is just to teach you how to save a few tips to live a good life in harmony with your emotions.