Women's Guide to Healthy Gender

No "emotional obligation" can override your physical autonomy. All behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable, uneasy, and uncertain can be stopped immediately. Fixed annual gynecological screening is the lowest-cost health protection. If you engrav these three sentences into your mind, you can avoid 90% of gender-related health pitfalls.

To be honest, I have seen too many silly girls fall into the trap of "too embarrassed to say no". Not long ago, I received a private message backstage from a 23-year-old girl. She had been dating her boyfriend for half a year. He always said that wearing a condom during the safe period would affect the experience. She was afraid that he would be unhappy, so she kept doing it. As a result, she was hospitalized with acute pelvic inflammatory disease last month, and she was also found to have an unexpected pregnancy. On the day of the surgery, her boyfriend even hesitated to sign the signature, and muttered to the side, "Why are you so squeamish when everyone else is fine?" I had dinner with Dr. Zhang from the city's maternal and child care department before. She also said that there are so many girls like this in the clinic now. They all think that refusing to wear a condom means they don't love the other person. When she finally came to the doctor, she was so painful that she shed tears. Most of the partners next to her looked indifferent. Of course, there are also many people who feel that "being so innocent in an intimate relationship is too emotionally damaging." I have asked a friend who does marriage counseling before, and her view is more direct: If the other person is embarrassed because you want to protect your own health, then this relationship does not put your feelings first, and problems will arise sooner or later. The objective data is here: unprotected sex will not only increase the probability of unintended pregnancy to more than 30%, but also increase the risk of infection with various pathogens such as gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, etc. Even if you are a regular partner for many years, you cannot completely rule out the possibility of hidden infection. Don't bet your own body on the other person's "consciousness".

What's more deceiving than being embarrassed to refuse is that many girls are already in pain and uncomfortable, and they are still carrying on. Last year, a fan came to me for consultation. He said that he had been having pain during intercourse for almost half a year. He always thought that it was because he was not relaxed enough. He also followed the emotional posts on the Internet to learn "how to cooperate with his partner." In the end, the pain was so bad that he couldn't straighten his back and went for a check-up. Only then did he discover that it was endometriosis, and the cyst had grown almost 3 centimeters. Nowadays, there are still many opinions that "women need to know how to accommodate themselves, and it will be fine if two people work together." However, if you ask any gynecologist in a regular hospital, they will tell you: excluding insufficient foreplay and insufficient lubrication, recurring moderate to severe pain during intercourse is definitely an alarm sent by the body, either inflammation or disease, and cannot be solved by "bearing it for a while" or "grinding it off". To use a crude analogy, if you wear shoes that are one size too small and your feet bleed, you can’t blame your feet for not having the right length. You have to wear calluses on your feet to fit the shoes, right?

Oh, by the way, there is another very controversial issue, which is how to clean the room after sex. Two factions are quarreling online. One faction says that you must rinse immediately, otherwise the remaining secretions can easily breed bacteria and cause vaginitis. ； Another school of thought says that washing will destroy the vaginal flora, and the more you wash, the more likely you are to get sick. In fact, both of these statements are half correct. The current consensus in the field of gynecology is that it is perfectly fine to rinse the vulva with warm water after intercourse, which can effectively reduce the probability of vulvar inflammation. However, do not use any lotion or even water to irrigate the inside of the vagina - the vagina itself has a stable weak acid environment and self-cleaning function. If you flush it inside, it will disrupt the balance of the flora and easily induce fungal and bacterial vaginosis. It is completely a good intention with bad intentions.

There are also many people who are ashamed to undergo gynecological screening, and their partners may even feel that "you don't trust me if you go for the screening." I met a 28-year-old girl before who had been living with her boyfriend for three years. She originally made an appointment to have an HPV screening, but her boyfriend got angry for several days and said, "You just think I'm not clean if you go to check. Is there someone outside?" So she really canceled the physical examination number. Last year, the workplace physical examination revealed that HPV16 was a high-risk infection, and she already had low-grade lesions. Fortunately, she was discovered in time, and after intervention for more than half a year, she turned negative. Of course, some people think that if both parties are regular partners and do not have high-risk behaviors, there is no need to spend this wasteful money. However, the WHO’s recommendations are clear: as long as women have had sexual intercourse, they should undergo TCT+HPV joint screening every 1-3 years after the age of 21. Even if you have only had one sexual partner, you need to get tested - the HPV virus can lie dormant for months to years, and there are even people who are infected through indirect channels such as public bathrooms and hotel towels. It is impossible to prevent it. Screening is never about distrusting the other person, but about being responsible for your own body.

I have been doing women’s health science for almost 6 years, and I have seen too many girls put other people’s feelings before their own, and in the end they were the ones who suffered the consequences of taking medicines, injections, and surgeries. Really, there are so many "shoulds" in the relationship between the sexes. You feel comfortable, solid and safe, which is more important than the "perfect standard of the sexes" posted on the Internet. If someone doesn't even care about your health, you don't need to put him in your life, right?