Mental health tips in the workplace

The optimal solution to mental health in the workplace is never the two options of "bearing it until breast nodules" or "resigning naked and going to extremes", but rather establishing a set of Tightening self-boundary adjustment mechanism ——To put it bluntly, you have a strong balance in your heart, and you know what to take seriously, what to turn a deaf ear to, when to refuse work, and when to compromise appropriately. There is no need to force yourself to be a "perfect workplace person who is always emotionally stable".

Last week, I had dinner with my former colleague from Alibaba P7. She was almost diagnosed with moderate depression last year. During that time, she worked on the Double 11 project for more than 40 days. The leader always blamed her for the mess that other team members made. She used to be a well-known good person and did not dare to refuse work. She went home and cried until the early morning every day. Later, she found a registered psychological counselor and it took her three months to recover. What she laments the most is that she used to think that "you need to have high emotional intelligence and know how to get things done in the workplace." Later, she discovered that those good people who take everything on themselves are actually a group with a high incidence of psychological problems in the workplace.

There are actually two mainstream ideas in the industry regarding psychological adjustment in the workplace. No one is right or wrong. It all depends on which one is suitable for you. One is the Cognitive Behavioral School of thought (CBT), the core of which is to adjust the way you attribute events: For example, if your boss scolds you for writing a rubbish plan today, it may not necessarily be because you are incompetent, but it may be because he was pissed off by the big boss in the morning and just used you as a punching bag. ； When a colleague blames you, it's not necessarily because you offended him in some way. It may be that he just doesn't take responsibility out of habit. To put it bluntly, don’t take the blame for everything on yourself, and replace the thought of “Did I do something wrong somewhere” with “Did he have any serious illness?” This can solve 80% of the meaningless internal friction. The other is the existential school of thought, which is more suitable for people with a strong sense of purpose: first think about what you are doing at work? If you are going to study abroad to save money, then the boss’s nonsense will be used as the background sound to earn tuition fees. ； If you want to go to a big factory of your choice to gain experience, then as long as you can learn the core skills, other miscellaneous things will be automatically filtered out. Several friends around me have used this method. Even when being criticized by their leaders during meetings, they can lower their heads and recite words secretly, and their mentality becomes stable.

When it comes to this, there will definitely be people who want to criticize me, saying that my back hurts when I stand and talk. What if I meet the kind of idiot leader who PUAs every day, forces you to work overtime for free, and also attacks you personally? Come on, I never said I would let you die in a garbage environment. If your team has reached the point where "as long as you don't resign, you will be mentally tortured every day", don't hesitate and run. The main premise of mental health is that you have to stay in a normal environment. No matter how you adjust in a toxic environment, it will be useless. If you really suffer from depression and anxiety, the salary you earn is not enough to pay for medical expenses.

Don't believe the poisonous chicken soup on the Internet that "as long as you don't care about the leader, the leader can't control you." I met a kid who just graduated two years ago. He believed this rhetoric and confronted the leader every day. When he was asked to change the plan, he said "I think what I wrote is fine". When asked to help coordinate the work of other groups, he said "this is not my KPI." As a result, he was not included in the end-of-year evaluation, and he was fired as the first one to be laid off in the department. This is not a good attitude, this is recklessness.

I have been managing Internet teams for 7 years, and I have experienced many pitfalls of mental breakdown. There are a few tips that are really easy to use, and they are not complex principles. They can be used easily. For example, every time I get so angry that my hands shake and I want to throw the keyboard, I will take a cup and pretend to collect water, go to the stairwell and squat for 3 minutes, take a deep breath and count to 10, and ask myself, "Will this matter still affect me in 3 months?" ”In 90% of cases, the answer is "no". You are so angry. You can't afford to worry about this. There is also the "emotional ledger" recommended to me by a consultant before. I spend 2 minutes every day after get off work to write two sentences. What did I feel unhappy about today? The reason for my unhappiness was "the other person violated my boundaries", "my own ability is not up to standard" or "the other person is just a fool". After writing it down for half a month, I found that 80% of my unhappiness fell into the third category, and it was not worth wasting my time after get off work to think about it.

As for whether to expose your emotions in the company, there is really no standard answer. If you are in a system or a traditional industry with many rules, try to show as little negative emotions in public as possible, otherwise you will easily be labeled as "emotional and unable to handle things", which will affect your promotion. ； But if you are in a team with a relatively open atmosphere like the Internet, it is useful to show weakness occasionally. There was a time when I was working on three projects at the same time. When I couldn't bear it anymore, I went to the leader and said, "I have been working too much recently and I have less than 6 hours of sleep. If I continue to carry it on, the quality of the project may be problematic. Do you think you can transfer two people to help?" ”I was assigned two interns that day, which was much better than doing it by myself for half a month.

Oh, by the way, there is another point that many people overlook: don’t use other people’s workplace standards to limit yourself. Some people are born to work hard and feel comfortable working seven days a week. If you are a person who likes to stay at home and watch dramas after get off work, don't force yourself to compare with others in terms of promotion speed. Just make enough money to spend. You can't make yourself sleepless and lose hair every day just for the sake of an extra two thousand salary increase.

Really, it’s just work. What you sell is time and ability, not emotions and self-esteem. You don’t have to force yourself to be positive all the time. It’s normal to occasionally catch fish, occasionally scold your boss, and occasionally lose a day or two. As long as you have the ability to make a living, have enough savings in your pocket to last for three months, and know what you want in your heart, nothing can really break your mentality.