Stress Management Relaxation Techniques

For the vast majority of ordinary office workers and students, the most effective stress management and relaxation technique is never to spend thousands to sign up for mindfulness classes or take a week to travel to relax. It is to match micro-actions that can be implemented immediately and at zero cost according to different stress scenarios. The core goal is not to completely eliminate stress - after all, moderate stress can improve mobility. This is an objective conclusion verified by the Yerkes-Dodson Law long ago - but to control the stress level within the threshold that does not affect your normal decision-making, sleep and interpersonal communication.

Don’t believe it, when I was working in Internet operations to catch up with the 618 big sales, I worked overtime until 11 o’clock every day for three consecutive weeks. I tried various “top relaxation methods” spread online, but I either didn’t have time to do them, or I felt more anxious after doing them. What impressed me most was the time I arrived at a project report meeting half an hour early. I opened the PPT and found that two pages of core data were wrong. At that time, my brain buzzed, my back suddenly broke out in cold sweat, and even my fingertips were shaking. Hiding in the fire escape, I couldn't calm down and do any mindful breathing, so I blindly tried the "3-second muscle tightening method" that I heard from the body flow therapist before: clenched my fists, pulled my shoulders and neck, and tensed all the muscles in my body for 3 seconds, and then suddenly released it. I did this twice in a row, and then I sucked a lemon hard candy that I had kept in my bag all year round.

Don't force yourself to "meditate" in this kind of emergency scenario. The more you force yourself to do it, the more anxious you will become. Compared with cognitive adjustment methods, techniques that directly mobilize the body's response are much more efficient. After all, when stress comes up, the rational brain is already hijacked by the amygdala, and it is useless to reason with yourself.

After talking about emergencies, let’s talk about the situation that many people have headaches and can’t stop thinking before going to bed. When I was learning CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) before, my teacher mentioned a "thinking packing method". I tried it for half a year, and it is really useful for a visual person like me: lie down and close your eyes, imagine the to-dos, unfinished things, and unsaid breath floating in your mind, stuff them one by one into a brown paper portfolio, seal it, and put it in the innermost drawer of your bedside table. Tell yourself, "I will open the drawer to get it at work tomorrow." Basically, go around twice and your mind will be empty. However, some researchers in cognitive neuroscience have put forward different opinions. They feel that this method of "deliberately suppressing thinking" may cause thinking rebound. For people with sensitive hearing, it is more effective to turn on 20 decibels of rainforest white noise to "overwhelm" the messy sounds in the brain. I have recommended both methods to my friends. It really depends on personal perception and preference. There is no better or worse.

If you have tried these instant methods, but still feel like there is a stone in your chest, and you can’t even buy milk tea and drink it, then it is most likely that you have been chronically stressed for too long, and temporary micro-movements are no longer enough. Don't listen to people who tell you that you must run three times a week or travel to feel relieved. Really, many people are so tired that they don't even want to take off their shoes after get off work. How can they find the strength to run three kilometers? The most practical thing I have tried myself is to set aside 15 minutes of "purposeless time" every day - during this time, you don't have to shoulder any KPIs, you don't have to learn anything, you don't have to do hygiene, you don't have to improve yourself, you can squat on the ground and watch ants move, you can pick your hands at the ceiling, you can watch 10 minutes of nutritious cat videos, and you don't judge yourself for "wasting time" at all. This method is actually proposed by the school of positive psychology. The core is to leave a gap for your self-control to recharge. Of course, some people think that this is a waste of time. It is better to spend two hours a week playing badminton and sweating. The endorphins last longer. That's right. As long as you can persevere, there is no problem with either method.

By the way, there is another pitfall that many people have stepped on: don’t treat relaxation as another KPI. I have seen people make a plan for themselves before, "I must meditate for 15 minutes every day." But one day they worked overtime late and forgot to meditate. Instead, they had an additional layer of anxiety like "I can't even relax." It was completely putting the cart before the horse. I only keep two things in my bag now, lemon hard candy and a small massage ball. When I feel stressed, I put a candy in my hand. If my shoulders and neck hurt after sitting for a long time, I roll the ball twice. I never set a target for myself "how long I have to relax every day." If it works, I try it twice more. If it doesn't, I use something else.

Anyway, there is no standard answer when it comes to stress management. The one that suits you is the best. You don’t have to force yourself to do mindfulness for half an hour like the blogger, and you don’t have to think that you can’t even relax. You can do whatever makes you feel comfortable. After all, what we want is to get along well with stress, not to win the championship in the relaxation competition.