A complete collection of self-healing methods

There is no universal treatment method that can cure all emotional internal conflicts. All effective self-healing essentially follows the logic of "seeing the existence of emotions → matching one's own tolerance → completing a small-scale emotional closed loop". You don't have to force yourself to choose the "most correct" one, just choose the one that won't rebound after you finish it.

The visitor I picked up last week, Little A, had just stepped into this pit: I had been working overtime for half a month, and on the weekend I saw a post saying "The best therapy is to go hiking in the mountains to contact nature." I dragged my friend to climb a 10-kilometer mountain. When I came back, I was so tired that I couldn't even lift my arms. I thought about having to deal with three clients the next day, and I collapsed while sitting on the subway during the evening rush hour. I cried and asked me, "How come it is even more uncomfortable for me when other people use a method that works for me?" ”

In fact, there is no "universally effective" method. There is no distinction between high and low in healing, only whether it is suitable or not.

When many people mention healing, they think it needs to be positive, positive, and rewarding. In fact, it is really unnecessary. If your energy is so low that you don’t even want to get out of bed, put aside all the methods of mindfulness meditation and exercise to secrete endorphins, and just sit back and watch mindless dramas, eat ice-cold heavy crayfish, and sleep for 12 hours in the dark. There has always been a lot of controversy about the different schools of this kind of "disguise therapy": Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) counselors will think that this is a short-term escape, and in the long run it will strengthen the cognition of "withdrawing when encountering pressure", or they should adjust irrational beliefs as soon as possible ； However, supporters of existential psychology believe that allowing yourself to briefly retreat to a safe zone without any pressure is in itself a way to accumulate energy for an overdrawn psychological account, and there is no need to criticize yourself from the "correct" commanding heights. I have seen too many people insist on doing things that "should heal", but when they come back, they fall into deeper internal friction because of "Why can't I even heal well?" They really can't do it.

Oh, by the way, if the air in your heart is so blocked that you are tossing and turning while lying down and your mind is full of bad things, don’t hold it in. I know a friend who is a screenwriter. Every time after an argument with Party A, he goes home and builds Lego. He specializes in complex models with more than 1,000 pieces. After building it, his fingertips feel sore and the unknown fire stuck in his chest has almost dissipated. ； There is also a girl who works in user operations. She specially bought an embroidery quilt. When users scolded her, she sat there and stuck needles. She embroidered crooked little rabbits in a drawer. She said it was more effective than talking to a consultant three times. Really, there is no need to think that healing must have any positive output. Even if you find a place where no one is around and learn how to bark for half an hour, crush 10 packages of crispy noodles, or write the names of the people you hate on soap and rub them until they melt, as long as you don't hurt yourself or others, it's all a good outlet.

It’s not that those professional methods are useless, it’s just that you don’t have to be bound by online check-in requirements. For example, many people recommend mindfulness meditation and always say that "15 minutes a day can cure anxiety." However, if you sit for 15 minutes and your mind is filled with unfinished PPTs and unanswered messages, it will become more and more annoying the more you sit. My own experience is that for mindfulness, you don’t need to take time to set up your posture. It’s enough to take three deep breaths while waiting for the elevator, to feel the temperature of the water flowing through your hands when washing a cup, and to pay attention to the real feeling of your feet on the ground when walking. Psychoanalytically oriented counselors will call this small exercise "anchoring the present". You don't need to pursue a profound state of nothing in your mind. If it can pull you out of the ruminative emotions for 30 seconds, it is considered effective.

There is another misunderstanding that needs to be mentioned: don’t regard self-healing as a panacea. If you have been unable to sleep or eat for more than two weeks in a row, are completely unable to do the things you liked before, or even have physiological headaches and chest tightness, don’t rely on so-called healing methods. It is really not shameful to see a professional psychological counselor or even go to a psychiatric department for a screening. Just like a common cold, you can get better by drinking more hot water and getting more rest. If you have a fever of 39 degrees, you can't just ignore it and not go to the hospital, right? Self-healing is a daily supplement of vitamins. If something really goes wrong, you still have to find a professional to prescribe medication.

Speaking of which, there was a time last year when I was stuck on a project for almost a month. I was annoyed every day when I opened my eyes. No matter what method I tried, it didn't work. Then I took a detour for 10 minutes after get off work every day and squatted in front of the elementary school next to my home for 5 minutes. I watched the children running after school. I held up marshmallows and powdered my face. I didn't have to talk to anyone. I just stood there after reading and left. I actually relied on these 5 minutes a day to support my emotions during that period. It seems silly to say it, neither professional nor high-end, but it works better for me than any of the options listed in the "healing method list".

To put it bluntly, self-healing is not a high-end skill that needs to be specially learned, and there is no need to follow the online list to complete the KPIs one by one. If you are willing to pet a cat and stay in a daze for half an hour, you don’t have to force yourself to run 5 kilometers. ； If you can cry happily, you don't have to hold on to the "emotionally stable" persona. Your feelings always come first - the best way is to really relax you.