How to improve the "sexual interest" between couples”

　　Why do couples have less sexual desire after marriage than when they were in love?

　　The sex life of a couple is important, but in fact, there are very few couples who truly have a satisfying and wonderful sex life. People seem to be able to find one or another reason for the disharmony in their sexual lives. “It is an excuse to attribute disharmony in sexual life to decreased sexual desire or decline in sexual desire. ”The psychotherapist put it bluntly: "The couple's lack of sexual interest is directional. The reason why the husband does not want to have sex with his wife is because the wife's sexual attraction to the husband is declining, and it has nothing to do with other external factors. ”

　　Analysis: Weak sexual pleasure, low sexual frequency, short sexual intercourse time, and low sexual desire are all symptoms of "decline in sexual desire" that is often said between couples. “Excessive work pressure with no way to relieve it, irregular life schedule, etc. These are all external causes of "low sexual desire". But in fact, decreased sexual interest in sexual partners is the most common and most critical factor. ”

　　Sexual interest is an element of sexual attraction between partners. Why does sexual interest in a partner decrease? The therapist analyzed that, on a large scale, it mainly comes from changes in the other person’s body shape, sexual punishment, lack of sexual response, decreased acceptance of body odor, disease body reaction and other reasons. “Among married couples, the husband or wife's "raunchiness" after marriage is a common factor that causes the partner to be "boring". ”

　　“People who say that their sexual desire is declining usually mean that they have no desire for their normal sexual objects. ”A psychotherapist said that the shelf life of love in marriage is actually very short, “only 3 years, or even 3 months, or even 3 days. ”He pointed out that it is precisely because of the decline in sexual interest in their partners and out of physiological requirements that people will look for new sexual excitement points. "Usually they seek comfort in daily work and social interactions, and some even choose to 'cheat.' ”

　　Tips: Improve "sexual interest" and don't "indulge in lust"”

　　In life, there are also many couples who strive for "sexual interest": watching porn together, wearing sexy underwear, buying sex toys... However, psychotherapists do not affirm this. “When regular sexual behavior cannot satisfy the inner sexual desire, people will look for new stimulation hot spots. But on the contrary, learning through porn or pictures will only weaken the sexual harmony of sexual partners. ”

　　The psychotherapist said that such "pure imitation" will only lead to worse situations: "The more you watch pornographic films, the less intimate you can be with your partner. When the results of imitation are not as good as expected after watching pornographic films, it is a huge frustration. This is why some husbands would rather watch porn and masturbate than be intimate with their wives. ”

　　How to maintain a relationship between husband and wife healthy Regarding sexual status and sexual psychology, psychotherapists advise: “First of all, a stable sexual object is necessary. That is to say, both husband and wife must remain loyal to each other, which also requires the husband or wife to pay attention to their personal image, words and deeds, and not to change too much before and after marriage. In addition, during sexual intercourse, couples should also have sexual communication with each other, be able to share their personal feelings during intercourse afterwards, and be able to discover and praise each other's sexy beauty in life. ”