The core of stress management is

The core of stress management isCutting the boundary between power and responsibility of stressors and accurately matching coping resources-This is my team management in the Internet industry for six years, and I have followed up more than 20 projects before and after. I have seen more than 100 colleagues' practical conclusions after the pressure collapse. It is not a chicken soup floating in the sky.

When I first started working, I also stepped on the pit. At that time, I always felt that "it is a good thing to do more and practice more". I took over all the jobs that the leaders had left me, whether they were my own or not, and even the mess that other groups had left me embarrassed to push. As a result, there was an inventory problem in the big promotion project that year. Originally, it was the KPI of the supply chain group. Because I had "helped to keep an eye on the inventory twice", I ended up with the whole pot on my head, and the performance was deducted for two quarters. At that time, I lost my sleep and my hair every day. I went to the doctor and said that I was under too much pressure, which made me exercise more and adjust my mentality. I spent more than 3,000 yuan on a fitness card, and I have never been there again since I went there twice-I was full of thoughts about how to fill the pit and how to write a review when I was running. No matter how much exercise I did, it was useless.

Later, the old leader who took me into the business chatted with me once, and threw me an A4 paper to list all the activities in my hand, clearly marking "Who is responsible for the results", "Do I have the corresponding authority to mobilize resources" and "What are the benefits?" After marking, I found that seven of the 12 activities in my hand had nothing to do with me, and all of them were thrown over by others. On the same day, I made a list to find a leader and pushed back all the work that did not belong to my responsibility. When I woke up the next day, I felt that the stone that had been pressed on my shoulder for half a year was directly gone.

Interestingly, the content of stress management in the market now is actually completely divided into two ways, and few people have made it clear. There is no difference between the two schools, but the adaptation scenarios are completely different:

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Oh, by the way, I really don't mean mindfulness and exercise are useless. Now I get up every morning and meditate for 10 minutes. The whole person's state is really much better, but that's based on the premise that I have smoothed my work and no inexplicable pot will hit my head. If you just took a mess left by someone else and let me sit there and meditate, how can I be quiet when my mind is full of how to fill the hole?

Before, the team had an operation girl who graduated in 1985. Last year, she received a big promotion project, worked overtime until 12 o'clock every day, and also reported hundreds of yuan for commuting to mindfulness classes. Finally, she collapsed and cried and left her job. I helped her, only to know that she was carrying three modules of anchor docking, platform launch and inventory coordination at the same time, in which inventory coordination was originally a matter for the supply chain group. At that time, the director casually said, "You help keep an eye on the point", and she took it. In the end, the inventory failed to keep up with more than 300 complaints, and the pot was all hers. In this case, it's no use even if she is mindfully practicing until she can settle down. On the same day, I took her to a meeting with the director and the person in charge of the supply chain, transferred the work of inventory coordination back to the supply chain, and added an operation assistant to her as a helper. In less than a week, she came back, and she also won the department star last month.

In fact, not only the workplace, but also the stress in life. My cousin took her baby to work two years ago, and her in-laws kept saying "Why can't even take a child well?" She used to read the "Emotional Management Law" of parenting bloggers every day, forcing herself not to get angry, and her breast nodules grew to 1cm. Later, she simply broke the pot and threw a showdown with her husband: every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, he took the baby to an interest class, and on February and Saturday, she enrolled in a yoga class. On weekends, the two of them took it together, and if the in-laws recited it again, they would go straight back to their hometown to live for two months. It's so simple to adjust, less than three months to review, the nodules are half smaller.

Of course, I'm not saying that you should be an old hand in the workplace and push everything out. For example, last week, a new member of the team just joined the company, and the rules of the docking platform were changed, so he couldn't handle it. I helped him handle it conveniently, and it took less than 5 minutes before and after-this is my "bottom job" within my responsibility as a team leader, and I have corresponding resources in my hand, which will not cause me extra pressure, and there will be no problem when I take it. To put it bluntly, border cutting is not a toss-up, but three questions have been asked in my mind before taking over the job: should I take responsibility for this matter? Do I have the corresponding resources and time to get it done? Is there any clear benefit for me when it is done? If one of the three questions is negative, you have to weigh it.

I have seen too many people talk about "seeking inward" every day. Obviously, it is someone else's forced pot, and they have to blame themselves for "not having a good attitude". In essence, stress management has become a self-PUA. To put it bluntly, stress is like a bag in your hand. Originally, you could only carry 10 kilograms, and others forced you to give you 20 kilograms. You don't want to take out the extra part, but practice holding your breath every day. It's strange that you don't get sick.

If you feel stressed out recently, you can try to find a piece of paper when you go home tonight, and list the things that have bothered you recently one by one, and cross out those things that are "not my job" and "it's no good taking responsibility". There is a high probability that you will wake up the next day and feel relaxed.