Thoughts on mental health in the workplace

The core of workplace mental health has never been to "eliminate negative emotions", nor is it to apply some "anti-internal friction formula" that is universal across the Internet, but to find a way to balance within the dynamic imbalance of personal boundaries, career goals, and external expectations without "self-depletion" to pay for it. This is my most practical experience after working as an employee relations HR in the Internet industry for 6 years, handling 27 employee psychological intervention cases, and stepping into the trap of three anxiety outbreaks myself.

Last month, I just processed the resignation application of a girl who graduated from the 985 program in the operation department. She has been working for a year and a half. She has received S-level evaluations in three major projects in a row. She is a key training target in the eyes of the director. The reason for her resignation was "personal reasons". When we chatted behind closed doors, she clutched her phone and shed tears. She said that now her hands shake whenever she hears the notification sound of Feishu. When she bit her tongue while eating last week, her first reaction was "How can I even make mistakes when eating?"

Many people in the company privately said that this child simply had poor ability to withstand stress and that he would not be able to go anywhere in the future even if he could not bear this little hardship. Some colleagues gave her advice and asked her to learn mindfulness meditation and take 10 deep breaths before going to work, which would stabilize her mood. I didn’t persuade her to stay, nor did I give her any emotional regulation manual, because I knew very well what her problem was—she regarded “meeting all the expectations of the leader” as her career KPI. She didn’t dare to get off work on time for three months in a row. She even asked for leave with a fever while answering messages on her computer. Her sense of boundaries was so broken that there was no trace left. What use could deep breathing alone do?

Nowadays, there is a lot of talk about mental health in the workplace. There are actually two major schools of discussion. One is the "emotional regulation school" that looks inward. It focuses on a cultivation mentality, such as "stopping mental internal friction" and "allowing everything to happen." I still have several related books from publishers piled up in my drawer.； The other faction is the "border-building faction" that fights externally. The core is "reject PUA", "get off work when the time comes" and "work is just a means of making a living". There are always more than 100,000 such cool articles online.

To be honest, both groups are right, but when it comes to specific people, it is easy for them to fall into traps. There was a little girl in my previous department who was a loyal supporter of the borderline faction. She would turn off the computer when the time came, and she would reply to messages sent by her boss after get off work the next day. As a result, she got a C in the quarterly evaluation, which made her even more anxious. She squatted in the tea room every day and scolded the company for being unfair, and couldn't even eat. There is also a male technical colleague who does mindfulness meditation with the blogger every day. He is not angry when the product manager changes his requirements. He hides in the stairwell and smokes half a pack of cigarettes. Last month, he was diagnosed with high blood pressure during a physical examination. The doctor said it was caused by suppressed emotions.

I have read the 2023 workplace mental health survey by the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences, more than 10 times. The 24.6% mental health risk detection rate sounds scary, but if you carefully break down the triggers, nearly 60% of the problems are not "too much work" at all, but "clear rights and responsibilities" and "misplaced expectations." To put it bluntly, you either don’t know how far you have worked, or you are clearly the fault of others in the end. It’s normal to be in a bad mood. It really doesn’t mean that you have a bad mentality. That kind of anxiety is like a program running secretly in the background of your mobile phone. You obviously haven't opened any APP, but the battery is draining quickly, and you still can't find which program is the problem.

I also encountered this pitfall when I was leading the school recruitment project the year before last. At that time, my boss said, "We want to provide the best school recruitment experience in the industry." I stayed with this empty talk for two weeks. Even the font of the poster was changed to 8 pages. Every day when I opened my eyes, I felt like a stone was weighing on my chest. Later, I couldn't bear it anymore and I asked my boss to have a 15-minute meeting. After breaking down the "best experience" into three hard indicators: "resume feedback no longer than 24 hours", "interview pass rate no less than 30%", and "offer satisfaction 90%", I only added 2 days of classes and it was successfully completed. Even the student consultations that were previously annoying became much more pleasing to the eye.

A while ago, I had dinner with a friend who quit a big factory to work as a freelancer. Her point of view was more direct: most problems with mental health and unhealthy problems can be solved with enough money. I deeply believe that, if you get 8,000 yuan a month, and your boss makes you do the work of three people every day, and always accuses you of being incompetent, then don’t talk about righteousness or boundaries, and finding a job as soon as possible is better than anything else. Of course, not everyone can jump. I have seen many colleagues who have to pay off their mortgages and raise children. They cannot change jobs for the time being, so there is no need to force themselves to "love work". Just act as an 8-hour workplace drama at work. As long as you get a salary that is worthy of the work you do. After get off work, you should masturbate and spend time with your children. Don't bring the emotions at work home. That is better than anything else.

After all, there is no standard answer to mental health in the workplace. I still have the audio of mindfulness meditation on my phone. When I stay up late working on a project, I will take 5 minutes to listen to it. I will occasionally turn off the computer at the end of the day and reply to non-urgent messages from my boss the next day. There are no black and white rules.

After all, work is for living a good life, not the other way around. Your own feelings are the highest priority KPI in this life, right?