What are the three strategies of stress management

At present, there are three kinds of core stress management strategies that have been widely proved to be effective in clinical psychology and workplace EAP, namely, problem-focused strategy, emotional-focused strategy and meaning reconstruction strategy. The underlying logic comes from psychologist lazarus's stress cognitive evaluation theory. After more than 40 years of landing verification, the three kinds of strategies have their own applicable scenarios, and there is no absolute difference between good and bad, and the combined use effect is the best.

I have been doing EAP consulting in enterprises for five years, and I have seen that too many people use the wrong strategy to aggravate the internal friction. Before, I met a product manager of a big factory, who took on three inter-departmental projects at the same time and stayed up until two o'clock every day, and forced himself to "adults should not be in a mood, but should solve problems". As a result, he went to the mental health department because of severe insomnia in less than half a month. In fact, his situation at that time was the most suitable for him to spend half an hour talking with friends first, and then to find leaders to coordinate the scheduling priorities.

Problem-focused strategy is the most cost-effective of all strategies. To put it bluntly, it is to start with the stressor itself, solve the problems that can be solved first, and don't compete with yourself first. For example, if the work task is overloaded, the non-core issues should be put back first. If you can't bear it, you should ask the leader to apply for adding people and postponing the schedule. If you have a conflict with your colleagues, you should find a chance to eat and talk about the misunderstanding. When the root cause problem is gone, the pressure will naturally dissipate. To be honest, if you can solve the pressure by yourself, don't dwell on internal friction in your mind.

But we also have to admit that not everything can be changed immediately by hard work. For example, the industry as a whole is shrinking and layoffs are coming, and no matter how hard you fight, you can't change the company's decision, or you have a fever on the day of preparing for the qualification exam for half a year, and the result has been fixed and you can't change it. At this time, you will only repeatedly hit the south wall. It is better to focus on your emotions first.

The essence of the strategy of emotional focus is to "flood" emotions. You don't have to force yourself to be "strong". You can run 5 kilometers and sweat, find a girlfriend to vomit until your voice is hoarse, or even tear useless waste paper at home for half an hour, as long as you can get rid of the stuff that is stuck in your heart. Before, many users asked me if this was an "escape from the problem". In fact, it's like your first reaction when cooking is spilled with oil is to take a shower to stop the pain, instead of standing there and scolding yourself for being careless. Emotional adjustment is the step of taking a shower, so that you can feel comfortable before you can think about the next thing.

Sometimes, things can't be changed, and the mood is relieved, but there is still a hurdle in my heart. For example, if I have survived for half a year, I will cut it, and all my efforts will be hit by Shui Piao. I still can't get excited when I come back to work after taking a week off. At this time, I can try the method of meaning reconstruction.

Instead of forcing you to drink the poisoned chicken soup of "gratitude and suffering", look for the useful part of this experience from another angle: although the project is yellow, the cross-departmental communication experience you have accumulated, the new track play and the pits you have stepped on are all true, and you can avoid many detours if you do similar things next time. I met a girl who worked in marketing before. The company cut her new brand project. She originally wanted naked resignation. Later, she compiled this experience of doing brand from zero to one into a case, and her salary increased by 40% when she jumped ship. Of course, some people think that this method is "the spirit of Ah Q". In fact, the essence of the two is different: Ah Q is deceiving himself by avoiding the facts, and the reconstruction of meaning is to accept the premise that "things have happened and can't be changed", and then actively explore the valuable parts for you to help you jump out of the victim's mentality of "I am too unlucky" and move on.

In order to facilitate everyone to choose according to their own situation, I have compiled a simple comparison table:

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In fact, there has never been a standard answer to stress management. You don't need a hard method. Just come as comfortable as you are at the moment. After all, our ultimate goal is to make ourselves live more smoothly.