Brief sentiment on emotional management

The core of emotional management is never to "eliminate negative emotions" or "hold back your anger", but to learn to recognize emotional signals, and then choose the coping style that will do the least harm to yourself and others according to the current situation-this is the truth that I only learned after stepping on the pit of workplace+intimacy for three years.

Two years ago, I especially believed that "mature people should be emotionally stable" on the Internet. I was afraid to talk back when I was tossed by the leader, and I laughed and laughed when I was poked by my friends. I even dared not give bad reviews when I ordered less food. I always felt that getting angry was "low emotional intelligence". Results During that time, I took three boxes of stomach medicine, and it was common to lose sleep until two o'clock. I was awakened by going to psychological counseling: I was not emotional management at all, but blocking my emotions in my body and saving nodules.

It is interesting to say that there is no uniform standard for the solution of emotional management in psychological circles, and the ideas of different schools are much worse. The consultant of Cognitive Behaviorism School will let you grab the "crooked ideas" in your head first. For example, the first reaction when you are scolded by the leader is "I'm going to be fired". When you calm down, you will find that it may be that the leader just got scolded by Party A that day, and the anger just spilled on your head. Break this excessively disastrous idea and your mood will naturally calm down. Mindfulness is more direct. You don't need to change your mind at all. Just stare at the physiological feelings of emotions: "Oh, my chest is tight and my hands are shaking. It's an angry feeling". You don't have to judge yourself "how can I get angry about this?" Just stare at the feeling of tightness. At most, the impulse will disappear for a minute. Now I touch my wrist and count 10 pulses every time before I get angry. Basically, I didn't say anything. There is also a popular school of emotional release recently. I feel that it is better to get rid of it than to block it. If I feel uncomfortable, I will run for three kilometers, hammer at the pillow twice, and even swear a few words in the deserted stairwell. Don't save my emotions into a heart disease. I tried to squat downstairs for five minutes when I collapsed after working overtime, and it was much more efficient to come back and type the code.

I tried these methods myself, and compiled a small list suitable for different scenes, all of which are useful for personal testing:

In fact, there is really no need to cram a certain method, and I sometimes mix it. Last month, I was temporarily stood up by a customer. I counted 10 times on the spot and didn't lose my face. I turned around and ran downstairs for three kilometers to release my anger. When I went home and sat down to write a reply, I wrote one by one: "He stood up because of his company's financial problems, not because my plan was not well done." I turned over the matter that day, and I had to be depressed for at least three days before I changed it.

Now I am particularly tired of the online nonsense that "excellent people have given up their emotions long ago". Several project leaders I know will also strike the table during meetings, and they will also drag their colleagues to vomit in the middle of the night because the project is yellow. What is amazing about people is that they are not in no mood at all, but they will turn over the page after their emotions are scattered. They will not hold on to one thing for half a month, and they will not let their emotions delay the next arrangement.

Anyway, I don't have high requirements for emotional management now. I don't have to be calm all the time. I can catch my little temper and don't let my emotions cause me too much trouble. To put it bluntly, emotions are your own, so come as you like.