Courseware of Stress Management and Mental Health Lecture Liang Hongmei

The stress overload that most people feel is not as simple as "too many things to do" at all, but the result of the joint action of individual coping mode deviation, unreasonable cognition and lack of social support system. There is no universal decompression formula suitable for everyone, and only the method that matches your own personality characteristics and stress type is really useful.

The reason why I said this as soon as I came up was that I just received a case from a product manager of a big factory in Shenzhen last month. I was 32 years old and had insomnia for three months in a row. I had half a drawer full of decompression toys and aromatherapy, and more than 20 videos of "10 minutes to relieve anxiety quickly" were stored in my favorites. I didn't use them at all. It took him two chats to find out the root cause: the habit he developed since he was a child was "everything is his own responsibility". When the project went wrong, he didn't dare to mention the resource gap to the leader. The old man at home was afraid to tell his wife that he was afraid of her worry when he was hospitalized, and all his emotions were stuffy in his heart. In this case, no matter how much you play to decompress and pinch, it didn't solve the fundamental problem. Later, he took his lover to do family counseling twice, and he spoke out the pressure of hiding for half a year. After two weeks, he slept normally.

It's also interesting to say. The academic circles have been studying stress management for so many years, but there has never been a unified conclusion. Psychoanalytic counselors will feel that the essence of the stress you feel is that the unseen emotions are suppressed-for example, you are full of anger at the unreasonable arrangement of the leaders, but you dare not say that this anger will turn into nameless pressure and be blocked in your heart, so free writing and empty chair technology are the most effective ways to help you pour out your emotions; Consultants in the cognitive behavior school will feel that the stress is all caused by your unreasonable beliefs, which is also the delay of the project. Some people think that "I'm going to be fired after I finish" and some people think that "I can just apply to the leader for additional staff". The former is definitely several times more stressful than the latter, so ABC cognitive adjustment and belief verification are more suitable. Counselors with positive psychological orientation will feel that when you are under pressure, you always stare at what you can't do, ignoring the advantages in your hand. For example, if you are good at content creation and have to force yourself to do business docking, of course, you are anxious every day. At this time, doing advantage inventory and resource focus will be more effective. There is really no one right or wrong, just look at which one you are suitable for.

I have done cases for so many years, and I have compiled a table of adaptation methods for different personality traits, which you can refer to instead of rigidly applying:

Just speaking of this, I would like to mention a topic that is particularly fierce on the Internet now: "Is it effective to decompress by lying flat?" There are both cases in the cases I have contacted. Last year, there was a junior who was caught up in the postgraduate entrance examination and two internships. The acute pressure broke out and he took a leave of absence and went home to lie down for a week. Every day, he just ate and slept. After he came back, his status came back, and finally he was successfully admitted to the target institution. However, there is also an employee of a state-owned enterprise who simply lay flat for half a year for fear of losing the competition, and muddling along every day. As a result, after half a year, he saw that his colleagues in the same batch were promoted, but he fell into deeper anxiety and didn't even want to go to work. Therefore, there is really no standard answer to this matter. If there is short-term acute stress overload, such as working overtime for a month in a row and just experiencing a major change, it is completely fine to lie down for a few days. It is originally a self-protection mechanism of the body; But if you are chronically stressed for a long time, for example, you are not interested in your current job, or you have an unsolved knot in your heart, lying flat will not solve the fundamental problem, but will slowly consume your sense of self-efficacy.

To be honest, I have been doing this business for 12 years by myself, and there will be times of great pressure. Last year, I had to run 10 lecture tours and take regular cases. During that time, I was also anxious. I tried the "10-minute meditation" which was particularly popular on the Internet. As a result, I didn't feel enough. I had to get up early for half an hour to meditate, but I was even more annoyed. Later, I found a wild way of my own: every day after work, I stood in the park downstairs for 10 minutes, watching my aunt and grandpa dance in the square dance, thinking nothing, and after watching it for 10 minutes, I went home, and the pressure was relieved. You see, I am a professional in psychological counseling, and I will not force myself to use the so-called "correct" decompression method. It is most important to suit myself.

Oh, by the way, don't panic whenever you feel stressed. There is a Yerkes-dodson law in psychology for a long time. The relationship between stress and performance is inverted U-shaped. Proper stress can help you play better, and it's no good without stress at all. In stress management, we never want to kill all the stress, but just learn to live in peace with it.

You don't have to memorize all the contents today, and you don't have to go back to force yourself to follow this. Just choose the method that looks most pleasing to you, try it for two or three days, keep it if you feel useful, and throw it away if you don't. Even if you invent a decompression method yourself, such as squeezing bubble paper and tearing waste paper, it is a good method as long as it doesn't hurt yourself and affect others. If you really feel that you can't handle it, don't hold on. It's not a shame to talk to a professional consultant.