Emotion management is very important

The most important significance of emotional management is never to make you a "good guy" without temper, but to help you avoid being led by the instinctive emotions that rushed up in an instant at most key nodes of life and make choices that you regret later-this is the most straightforward answer after I have been struggling for seven or eight years and stepped on countless emotional pits.

Don't tell me that something like this happened in an Internet factory where I stayed before. Two product managers of the same rank had a big operation accident at the same time: there was a bug in the activity just launched, and 100,000 coupons originally limited to new users were sent out in half an hour, all of which were taken away by old users. At that time, the reaction of the two people was completely different. One exploded on the spot, patting the table and scolding the person in charge of the operation, saying that the restrictions were not clearly written when the operation raised the demand. The whole conference room was so noisy that the departments next door came to watch. In the end, although he did only take secondary responsibility when the accident was identified, the boss turned his head and withdrew his promotion qualification, on the grounds that "it was difficult to carry things at a critical time and it was easy to disrupt the rhythm". At that time, the other one's face turned white, his knuckles were all blue, and he didn't open his mouth to choke people. He first held a short meeting for 15 minutes with the technology, operation and customer service present, and decided to take two steps first: technology first went offline to make up loopholes, customer service first worked out a unified strategy to deal with users' complaints, and when the user traffic dropped that night, he took everyone's responsibility to resume trading, and then smoothed out the follow-up compensation plan. Later, the loss of the accident dropped to one-third of the original estimate, and the product manager was promoted to the head of the department after half a year.

Speaking of it, the controversy over emotional management on the Internet is actually very big, and two groups of people are quarrelling as a bee: one group says that emotional management is anti-humanity, why should I hold back when I am wronged, and it is easy to get breast nodules and thyroid nodules, so it is better to vent it on the spot; Another group said that emotional stability is the top accomplishment of adults, and it is powerful to be invisible. In fact, what both sides say makes sense, but they all step on the misunderstanding of "black or white". I talked to my friends in the school's psychology department about this before. Now there is actually no unified "standard answer" in the mainstream psychology field. Different technical schools have different applicable scenarios. I have compiled a simple comparison table, and ordinary people can hardly make mistakes according to it:

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I have stepped on the pit of "forcibly suppressing emotions" before. Two years ago, my cat was parkour, and my mobile hard disk, which I had stored for three months, was smashed from my desk to the ground. My first reaction at that time was "to be emotionally stable and not to be angry with the cat", and I abruptly swallowed back the swearing words on my lips. As a result, I was in a panic for three days in a row. When I was working with my colleagues, I was always embarrassed and almost docked. Later, my friend in the psychology department reminded me that emotional management is not to let you be an "emotional trash can". When it is time to vent, you should find a suitable channel to vent. Even if you shout at an empty room for two minutes or run downstairs for two laps, it is better than holding your emotions back to other personnel.

Of course, I have seen the other extreme. Before, there was a designer who worked on a project together and believed in "emotional freedom". If he was unhappy, he would say it on the spot. Last time he reported the plan to his boss, the boss made two amendments. He slapped the table on the spot and said that the boss didn't understand aesthetics, so he packed his things and went to naked resignation. As a result, he stayed at home for nearly half a year before finding his next job. The last time he came out for a drink, he said that the boss originally wanted to apply for an additional design budget for his project that day.

In fact, after all, there is no unified standard answer to emotional management. It's not a school exam. You have to get a hundred points to be qualified. You don't have to force yourself to keep a straight face when you meet anything. You don't call emotional management failure if you meet a few words of abuse from a jam on the road, or if you work overtime and hide in the stairwell for ten minutes when you collapse. As long as you don't let that emotion rush up, it's enough to make decisions for you that will affect your life for the next three months or even longer. After all, we don't live this life to be robots without emotions, but to be masters of emotions, right?