What are the differences between parenting and child health?

The core difference between parenting and children's health is that the former is a personalized parenting practice that covers all dimensions of children's growth, while the latter is a standardized professional field that focuses on children's physical and mental status. The two overlap but have clear boundaries and do not belong to the same category at all.

During this period of time, when doing parenting science in the community, I met too many parents who confused the two things. A while ago, a grandma chased me and asked me if her 3-year-old grandson was not able to hold a spoon to eat by himself. Was there something "underdeveloped and unhealthy"? I accompanied her to take the baby to the child care department. After a full set of screenings, the fine motor, chewing ability, and cognitive levels were all within the normal range. Finally, after asking for a long time, I found out that the four adults at home usually chase each other to feed the baby, and the baby never had the opportunity to hold a spoon by himself. This was not a health problem, but a problem of parenting style.

If you look at all the evaluation criteria for children's health, they all have a unified scale, ranging from the WHO's 0-18-year-old growth and development curves, diagnosis and treatment standards for various childhood diseases, to the screening thresholds for gross motor, fine motor, and language and social interaction at each age. Even now, they are getting more and more attention. There is also a corresponding emotional and behavioral screening scale for children's mental health. The core goal is to "understand" - to ensure that the child's physical and mental state does not deviate from the normal range and that there is no organic or functional damage. This part is non-negotiable. If the standard is not met, professional intervention is required.

From another perspective, parenting is a completely different matter. There is no universal "standard answer". Do you want your children to be exposed to art from a young age, or to spend more time outdoors playing wildly to release their nature? Do you want your children to be accustomed to setting rules before letting them go, or do you want your children to have enough freedom first? Then slowly guide the boundaries, as long as the red line of children's health is not touched, for example, children will not be severely obese because they are allowed to eat snacks, and they will not be forced to develop emotional disorders by forcing children to learn their special skills. These choices all depend on the parenting goals and cultural habits of each family, and there is no absolute right or wrong. Just like the current quarrel on the Internet about "should you register your child for kindergarten transition?" some people think that learning basic knowledge in advance will make it easier for the child to go to school and reduce frustration. Some people think that learning in advance will destroy the child's interest in learning and concentration in class. This is essentially a difference in parenting concepts. From the perspective of children's health, as long as the child does not suffer from long-term anxiety, study weariness, and lack of sleep, there are no health risks in either option, and there is no need to compete.

To use an analogy, raising a child is like driving a car for a trip. Children's health is the annual inspection by the vehicle management office. The core components such as brakes, tires, and engines must meet the standards, otherwise there will be dangers on the road. The standards are unified, and no matter where you drive, you must meet the requirements.； Parenting is the travel route you plan yourself. Whether you want to go see the sea or climb mountains, take the highway or take a rural road, whether you want to stop at a few scenic spots and take a leisurely stroll or go straight to the destination, it all depends on your own arrangements. As long as the car is in good condition, any choice is fine.

Of course, the two are not completely separated. The "scientific parenting" that is often referred to nowadays essentially uses the professional requirements of children's health as the underlying framework and then makes personalized parenting adjustments. The most fearful thing is that some parents step on the red line of health in order to achieve their preset parenting goals. For example, in order to make their children grow taller, they take hormone supplements indiscriminately, which leads to precocious puberty. In order to make their children become "self-disciplined", they deny and suppress them every day, which leads to their children becoming depressed. At this time, the original intention of parenting has completely gone astray.