self healing course

It is not an "emotional elixir" that can eliminate all pain, nor is it a unified IQ tax for harvesting leeks. It is essentially a set of internal adjustment toolkits that adapt to different emotional needs. There is no absolute good or bad. What matches your current state and can help you establish your own emotional coping habits is a good lesson.

I have been exposed to no less than ten self-healing courses with different orientations. I have stepped through the pitfalls of courses with a sky-high price of 20,000 yuan, and I have also found practical bargains in small courses that cost 99 yuan. I have seen people who have completely recovered from internal conflict after taking the course, and I have also seen students who are getting deeper and deeper into traumatic emotions and cannot get out. To be honest, the water in this field is indeed muddy, but there is really no need to kill them all with one stroke.

The short videos you see the most now are basically short courses oriented towards positive psychology, focusing on "Seven days to say goodbye to internal friction" and "21 days to quit the glass heart". Most of the contents are tools such as mindful breathing, gratitude recording, and the quick emotional pause method. If you have just experienced an acute stress event such as layoffs or a broken relationship, and you are stuck in an emotional whirlpool and can't get out, it is really useful to follow the practice - my operation friend who stayed up for 47 days in a row to catch up with Double 11 last year was already panicking when he heard the sound of nails. He signed up for a 21-day clock-in class and took 10 minutes after get off work every day to do 5 sets of breathing adjustments. In less than two weeks, he would no longer break out in a cold sweat every time he touched his phone. Of course, there have always been criticisms of this type of course in the academic community: to put it bluntly, it is an "emotional band-aid". Just ignore the pain at the moment and cannot find the root cause of your always being overwhelmed by emotions. The next time you encounter the same thing, it will still explode. This is true. After my friend was scolded for three projects in a row, she still fell into self-denial of "I can't do anything well." The breathing method taught in the short course could only help her stop shaking hands, but it could not solve the underlying self-doubt.

People who want to solve the root problems will mostly take psychodynamic therapy courses, which are usually offered on a monthly or even annual basis. The core is to help you sort out your family of origin, uncover unmet needs in childhood, and dismantle your emotional triggering mechanism. The writing therapy class I took in my previous annual report fell into this category. After three months of keeping an emotional diary, I finally understood why I always dared not refuse other people's requests. The essence was that every time I made a request of "I don't want to share toys" when I was a child, my mother would label me as "selfish and ignorant". Subconsciously, I always equated "rejection" with "I am not liked". After untying this knot, I can now refuse unreasonable requests from my colleagues without even getting stuck. However, this type of class is also controversial. Many practitioners complain that it can easily lead people into a "trauma narrative". Picking up their wounds every day will actually strengthen the perception of "I am a wounded weakling." I am only occasionally sensitive. After taking the class, I feel that I am a shadow of my childhood, and I don't even dare to socialize normally. A girl who was taking classes at the same time as me was getting more and more stuck in her parents' preference for her younger brother when she was a child. She would get awkward when she came home during the Chinese New Year. After class, she even refused to answer her parents' calls. It took her half a year to adjust.

What’s interesting is that there are many more niche healing classes, such as those based on embodied cognition. They don’t talk about your emotions or dig into your childhood, but teach you how to adjust your state through body perception. My mother was so irritable during menopause last year that she couldn’t sleep, so she took public welfare classes for half a month. Now she deliberately touches the edge of a cold ceramic bowl twice when cooking, and pinches the back of her neck for three minutes before going to bed. She said such simple actions are more effective than taking tranquilizer tablets. You say there is no scientific basis? It’s true. Research on embodied cognition has proven that physical sensations can directly affect emotional states. However, many people feel that this kind of class that “does not talk about childhood or pain” does not count as “serious therapy.”

Really, there are no “must-take healing lessons.” The biggest pitfall I had ever encountered was that I spent more than 20,000 to sign up for an offline workshop with an overseas instructor. A group of people locked themselves in a room and cried each other, shouting "I forgive myself." I keep a palm-sized notebook in my bag all the time, and whenever I feel an emotion, I write three lines: What am I feeling now? What did I just think of? What's the smallest thing I can do right now? I learned this method from a small course that cost 99 yuan back then. I have been using it for almost two years now, and it is 10,000 times more effective than the course that cost 20,000 yuan.

Nowadays, many people call healing classes an IQ tax. In fact, the core thing is what expectations you have when you go to class. If you expect that after taking the course you will no longer suffer pain and that all problems in life will be solved, you will 100% feel that you have been cheated - pain is the normal state of life, and no matter how good the therapy course is, it cannot help you eliminate all the bad things. But if you have the mentality of "learn two handy tools and know how to shake off your emotions next time you are sad", you will most likely be able to find a class that suits you. By the way, if someone tells you in the first class that "all your misfortunes are because you didn't heal your childhood" and "you will never live a good life without class", don't hesitate, turn around and run away.

Last week I met a girl I had taken calligraphy classes with in a coffee shop. Her former boss casually said to her that she could suffer from insomnia and think about it for half a month. That day she was chewing a cake and told me that her boss threw her plan on the table last week and said it was badly written. She turned around after get off work and bought a cup of iced taro milk tea. When she was riding the subway, she took out a small notebook and wrote two lines, "I feel aggrieved now. I just thought that last year it was the same leader who changed my plan to his own name. I will cook a bowl of snail noodles when I get home." After eating the snail noodles at home, she almost forgot about it.

“It’s not that I’m not angry, I just know that I don’t need to be dragged away by this emotion. ”You see, this is the most practical meaning of self-healing classes.