What to do when a man is lonely and how to get rid of it

　　Research on the socialization process of children shows that both boy Both girls need thousands of hours of contact with mentally mature and sound men in order to grow into a sound adult. Nowadays, the social environment for boys is particularly unfavorable. The result is that although he looks like a 5-foot-old man, he is wrapped in a fragile childlike heart. This is the so-called "big boy".

　　If you ask a woman how she is doing, she will easily reveal her worries.； But if you ask a man, his answer is usually simple: “Not bad. ”In fact, God knows how much trouble he has in his heart.

　　This pretense of "men don't say anything when something is wrong" has been praised for generations. male "Virtue" harms both men and women.

　　However, not all men can maintain it for a long time, and it is not uncommon for those who "miss the mark" to be successful: a leader becomes devastated after resigning, and a businessman goes crazy after losing business. Stories like this make people wonder:

　　What's wrong with the man?

　　In recent years, a massive "manly movement" has emerged in the Western world, trying to analyze and answer questions about men. Researchers point out that we have so far not paid attention to the fact that in today's society, boys have too little contact with their fathers, and there are no mentor-like men around them to help him grow into a qualified man. Girls have very natural contact with their mothers at home, and most teachers in kindergartens and primary schools also female , making it easy for girls to establish deep friendship and intimate relationships with people of the same sex. Boys grow up in an environment that lacks role models for adult men, so they can only make up a fictional man based on the image in the film and television media, and act according to this fictional image to prove that they are worthy of being a man. However, because he never understands the inner world of men, he cannot achieve real growth in the process of imitation. As a result, although he has the appearance of a 5-foot-tall man, he is wrapped in a fragile childlike heart.

　　In order to hide his inner vulnerability, he had to learn to pretend to avoid losing face. This kind of pretense is forced, which makes men closed and lonely inside, and women rarely understand this kind of loneliness in men. Its disastrous consequences may ultimately affect their marital life, father-son relationship, physical and mental healthy and reflected in social behavior.

　　The Western manhood movement began precisely with the public acknowledgment of men’s pain. Of course, this is not just about venting men's pain, but looking for various possible solutions. Researchers pointed out that the three major shackles that bind men are: 1. Loneliness ； 2. Forced to compete ； 3. A lifelong fear of showing emotion. If women’s enemies exist in the world around them, then men’s enemies exist within the psychological defense lines that men themselves have built in every possible way. If a man does not innovate his inner world, it is impossible to change the outer world. When men gradually come out from behind the psychological defense lines they have set up, it will mean their progress and growth, which will benefit the men themselves, and will also benefit women and children. When men become open and cheerful, spiritually happy and healthy, their violent and greedy tendencies will be transformed into peace and selflessness.