Emotional regulator

There is no universal standard answer for the best mood regulator-the most effective one is always a low-threshold action that matches your current emotional trigger and conforms to your personal behavior habits, without pursuing "positive" and "advanced", and usefulness is the only criterion.

Don't believe me, I just hit a wall on this issue last week.

My friend was called back to the eighth version of the plan by Party A, and she cried in the stairwell of the company. I turned over the "Mindfulness First Aid Guide" that I had saved for a long time and sent it to her, asking her to do 478 breathing. She directly returned three expression packs with her eyes rolling.

Ten minutes later, she stood downstairs in the wind and drank half a cup of American style with triple ice, patted the counter of the tea shop and told me that she was alive.

In fact, the academic circles and the first-line emotional regulators have been arguing about this for several years.

The core logic of traditional cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is that "emotions come from cognition, and only by adjusting cognition can we solve emotional problems from the root". You have to break away the distorted cognition of "Party A is aiming at me" and replace it with "His needs have changed because his leadership has also given pressure", and the emotions will naturally go smoothly.

However, Sister Li, who I know and has been doing EAP consulting for 12 years, shakes her head every time she mentions this set: "For ordinary people who are in an emotional outburst period, this is equivalent to letting people who choke on water learn the correct swimming posture first, and the amygdala has taken over the rational brain. How can there be so many dreams?"

Among the thousands of counseling cases she has contacted, when 70% people have an acute emotional breakdown, the most effective way is not to breathe mindfully at all, but to find a place where no one is around to swear for 30 seconds, or to go to a convenience store to pinch crushed ice for half a minute.

I sorted out the differences between the two schemes in different scenarios for your reference:

There is also an interesting controversy: many people think that mood regulators must be "positive" and cannot have "escape attributes".

A while ago, a blogger scolded "It's depravity to brush short videos and eat junk food to adjust emotions", and there was a row for thousands of floors below. Some people said that they were laid off last week, and they only recovered after lying at home for three days to brush earthy videos. If they were forced to exercise and resume, they would have jumped off the building.

I asked 27 Internet friends around me on a small scale before, and 19 of them said that when their mood was at its lowest point, they got over it by the method of "not getting on the table": some people squatted in the corridor to tear up the express box and tear up bubble paper, some people turned over the QQ space in primary school to watch their non-mainstream speeches and rolled around laughing, and some people opened an anonymous number to yell at strangers online for ten minutes. As long as it didn't hurt themselves and affect others, how could it be high or low?

I've stepped on a pit myself before, watching others say that running is particularly good for regulating my mood. When I'm in a bad mood, I forced myself to run for three kilometers, and I was out of breath. My mind was full of "Why should I suffer this crime when I'm so miserable?", and my mood was even worse.

Later, I found my exclusive regulator: squatting downstairs in the community to watch the grandfathers play chess.

Just squat down and watch, don't talk, watch uncle Zhang arguing with uncle Li for a pawn, and watch uncle Wang being beaten by two people together. After 20 minutes, all the KPI, unread news and endless solutions in his head floated away with the noise of the uncles.

It's not "classy" to say it, but for me, it's more useful than any mindfulness class or emotional management training camp.

In fact, to put it bluntly, the mood regulator is the same as taking antipyretics for your cold.

Others say that ibuprofen is effective. If you have an allergic rash after eating it, it is not as effective as paracetamol for you. You don't have to follow online celebrity's "emotional adjustment list" to punch in, and you don't have to feel that your adjustment method is not "healthy" or "advanced".

After all, the purpose of looking for a regulator is to pull yourself out of the current emotional quagmire, not to participate in any "healthy life contest."

It's enough to get you over it.