Experience of stress management and emotion regulation training

There is no universal formula for stress management that can be applied to everyone. The best way to adjust emotions is to find a "stress symbiosis model" that is suitable for one's own personality and work rhythm. After all, we can't delete all the bad things at work, and we can make sure that we don't let stress drag down our lives and let emotions hurt others by mistake, which is already a high score answer sheet.

To tell you the truth, I went at first with the mentality of making up the numbers. After all, I have listened to a lot of similar training before, either shouting slogans to fight chicken blood or throwing away a bunch of general methodology of "three-step farewell to internal friction". I have tried it several times, but it is useless to say it, but because I can't even manage my emotions well, I have a new layer of anxiety. As soon as the teacher of this training came up, he said, "At least half of the methods mentioned today are useless to you. You only need to pick one that can be used, even if it's not for nothing", which instantly dispelled my previous resistance.

The debate at the training site is actually much more interesting than the knowledge points. When talking about the "emotional log method" of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), my colleague in the operation post sitting next to me nodded wildly, saying that she had just collapsed because of poor activity data last week, and only after disassembling it according to logic did she find that she was angry not because the data was bad at all, but because she was afraid that the leader felt that she was incompetent and turned to the leader to align the assessment criteria, and the whole person immediately relaxed. However, Xiao Zhou, the design post sitting in the back row, directly raised her hand on the stage to refute, saying that when she got emotional, she didn't have the strength to write any diary at all, and her mind was full of "I changed this demand for the eighth time and I'm going crazy", which made her rational analysis equal to adding fuel to the fire.

The teacher didn't say who was right or wrong, so she talked about the differences of the current mainstream three kinds of stress management ideas, and gave us their respective applicable boundaries. I compiled them into a table, which is very informative to try during this time:

It's interesting to say. There was a male colleague at the training site who worked as a backend. He stayed up for three consecutive days because of online bugs. He fell asleep directly when doing mindfulness exercises that day. He woke up and said that this was the most fragrant 20 minutes he had slept in half a month. The whole audience laughed. Later, he said that he always thought that mindfulness was "the metaphysics of fooling people", and now he plans to take 5 minutes before going to bed every day to try whether it can improve insomnia.

I've tried it myself for a while, but the most useful skill is a very small one: feel your pulse when you feel emotional, and if you jump more than 100 times/minute, you won't make any decision. Go to the stairwell and climb three floors first, or go to the tea room to make a cup of coffee for two minutes. Last Thursday, I was supposed to hold three meetings and hand in the quarterly resumption. Just after I arrived at the company this morning, I received a phone call from a customer saying that the plan needed to be greatly changed. At that time, blood rushed to my head and my hands were shaking. Before I changed it, I definitely threw a pen and butted it hard. On that day, I felt my pulse was almost 120, so I told the customer, "I'll call you back in 10 minutes", climbed three floors and took two breaths. When I came back, I straightened out the core of the other party's demand for change.

Before, many people on the Internet called mindfulness an IQ tax and cognitive adjustment a "victim's guilt theory". Now, I think that these disputes are essentially based on their own applicable scenarios to set others' situations. For example, the sales supervisor in our department said that he became more and more annoyed when he tried mindfulness. All he could think about was that there were still three customers who didn't follow up today. Instead, every time he was stressed, he went downstairs to play basketball for half an hour and came back with nothing. This is the right way for him, and there is no need to force himself to calm down.

I used to think that "being able to handle pressure and control emotions is a major", so I have to be tough even if it is about to explode. I couldn't help but get angry with the new intern last month, and then I felt guilty for several days. I especially agree with what the teacher said in this training: "Allowing yourself to have negative emotions is the real emotional management. You are not a robot. How can you have no temper?"

Now I will still be overwhelmed by the pressure. Yesterday, I changed my plan to the early hours of the morning, but I still couldn't help spitting with my partner for half an hour. Before I changed it, I would definitely scold myself, "Why is this little thing so useless that I can't bear it?" I went to take a shower and sleep after spitting, and I was more efficient when I got up the next day.

To put it bluntly, there is really no need to pursue full marks in stress management. Passing is enough, and being comfortable is the most important thing.